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Thursday, March 4, 2010

I should have listened to my mother

The other night I was blessed with a get out of jail house free card & so I took it. It's not the norm to get any free time to myself or to be able to go out alone. I mean, my idea of a good time these days is to go to the chiropractor & possibly splurge on a coffee while I run around like a chicken with their head cut off doing errands. But of course, S thinks that I like that kind of supposed "me" time because I am alone. Now, being able to run errands without a toddler who has his own agenda & the ton of crap necessities he comes with is a walk in the park. But, sometimes its nice to get out alone & actually spend the time doing something enjoyable.

On Tuesday night I got a text from one of the mommies in my group wanting to go to a movie. Although we've tried to make mommy nights happen they never seem to work. But for some reason this impromptu movie night worked out, & at 9pm I rushed out of the house & left my son screaming with his daddy. I stood outside the door & listened for a minute just to make sure he was still screaming he was settling. I know I'm an awful person for hoping K would keep screaming & give his daddy a tiny glimpse into what bedtimes are like for mommy every night. But K didn't do as I wanted & within 2 minutes had settled &, as I'm told, went immediately to bed without fussing. Pfft! I should get out more often, eh?

Anyways, I made my way to the movies & met up with some friends just in time for a bit of conversation before the movie "Valentines Day" started. I'd heard it was an awful movie but I quite liked it. It was cute, cheesy, funny & had a happy ending. A girl needs her chick flicks people & I basked in its glory. In fact, I may have shed a few tear drops & quite possibly a bit of something else. I got really into the movie & was laughing my head off. At one point (Ok..the part where Queen Latifah slaps her ruler & starts talking dirty into the phone...you know what I'm talking about!) made me nearly pee my pants. Not like full on. That's disgusting. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I struggled & had to cross my legs & pray the river wouldn't start flowing. Too much information perhaps?! Sorry. I tend to over share. That's just how I roll.

You know, when I was preggers I did kegels like there was no tomorrow. Thank God I did because I was able to have baby sumo naturally even though I really shouldn't have HAD to given how big he was. I  remember a conversation I had with my mom after K was born when she told me I needed to do kegels everyday for the rest of my life or I'd be in diapers. Blah, blah, blah I thought. Who wants to talk about vaginas with their mother, especially when yours was recently damaged beyond repair by that unfortunate big baby beautiful bundle of joy I'd just given birth to?

I attempted to do kegels as time went on but it remained painful for many months after I had given birth & I got lazy. I spent so much time trying to avoid S so I could sleep rather than having any sort of physical relationship with him. Because honestly, what kind of new mother whose baby never sleeps wants any part of doing IT?  Somewhere along the line I completely forgot to take care of my poor,  distorted hoo-haw. In fact, I may have forgotten it even existed. So much so, that I can't remember the last time I did kegels at all.

And so, let it be known I am a twenty-something mother to one by day,  movie goer & pants peer by night. When your mother tells you to do kegels DO them. Or invest in adult diapers & watch movies at home.  I'm just saying...


  1. Oh Jenn! This made me laugh! I love your honesty :) I'll be sure to remember this wise and sagely advice when my turn comes. :)

  2. I'm glad you had a good evening out. I haven't seen the film - but it must be realllllly funny! :)

  3. Don't you love it when they act PERFECT for daddy and then he just doesn't get how you can constantly be complaining about how hard your days are? Darn adorable little monsters. :)


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