When I was pregnant I believed that the moment I would see my child for the first time would be the most defining moment of my life. After 9 hours of a drug-free labour and delivery, I gave birth to a ten pound nine ounce baby boy and an eight pound umbilical cord. When I looked at my son for the first time there was a major disconnect. My new baby was huge, looked nothing like me and was covered in vernix (because they aren’t born all fresh and clean like in the movies). That first day felt surreal.
When my boyfriend, my mother and the nurses left me alone for the first night I panicked. I acted like I was fine but inside I was screaming, “Oh my god! Please don’t leave me alone with this little person! I don’t know what to do!”
That first night my son wouldn’t settle. He screamed constantly and nothing I did seemed to comfort him. Eventually he fell asleep in my arms and I spent most of the night sitting in that hospital bed, staring at him with the most intense feeling of true love overcoming me.
I was exhausted and I should have been resting but I held him and I watched him sleep. I knew in that instant what being a mother and loving someone without boundaries felt like. Tears rolled down my cheeks as every emotion ran through me.
Life wasn’t just about me anymore. I was blessed with the most amazing gift and I knew that I would hold him in my heart, protect him and provide for him selflessly for the rest of my life. It was in that moment I knew I had found my true love.
I kissed him on the forehead and held him tight. “Mommy loves you, Kai”, I whispered. And then together we slept.
Thanks for reading. Please make sure to check the Folk Heart Press website from February 7th-13th to vote for me if you liked what you read and help support my blog. I wish you all get the chance in your lifetime to find true love. Should you be lucky enough to find it I would be honoured to hear your story.