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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Snuggles and lifes lessons from my 1 year old

I am happy to say that this week has been a great one. There seems to be a brief pause in the "I'm getting all my teeth at 1 time cycle" which has left me with a very happy and well behaved toddler in my house. So happy and well behaved in fact, that the projectile vomiting has not reoccurred since that frightful day when I made him sit in in. For some unexplained reason, we are not getting much sleep around here lately, but I cannot complain. This morning K slept in until 8am again and when he woke up, I brought him into my bed and we snuggled for a good half hour. Total paradise. I love that I have a snuggly baby and I dread the day he will be too big and have the "I don't need you" complex. But for now I will bask in the millions of hugs, big wet sloppy kisses with a loud "MWAH!" attached, and too many cuddles and snuggles to count.

These days I haven't been feeling myself. If fact, we've been spending a lot of time at home and less and time out at our regular playgroup get-togethers. Not that this is by choice, it just seemed to have happened that way. But, the longer we go without being sociable, the harder it is to be around people.

Life here in Sydney is so much different that back home in Calgary. In Calgary, most people get married around 25 and rush to pop out all of our babies before we hit the dreaded 3-0. Here, most people don't even start thinking about marriage until 30, and usually don't start having children until their mid-thirties. That being said, in terms of being a mommy here in Sydney, at 28 years of age I am an average decade younger than most moms. This leaves me feeling like a teen mom that just doesn't fit in. Now adays, I really don't know how to communicate with people anymore or even how to make friends. I know that sounds ridiculous but it's like being at the playground in elementary school hoping someone will come talk to you. Except this time I am an adult. And this time the park is full of children and their mommies.

Here's the difference between kids and adults. K goes up to all the children at the park, younger or older, with absolutely no fear and he plays with them.  It doesn't matter if he's seen them before, or even that they can't communicate. They don't need to. He hugs them. He kisses them. They act like they have been friends forever and they play. Funny how the kids make it look so easy but no adults talk to one another. We all stand around quietly, looking down, hoping someone will start a conversation, and that maybe we will have something interesting to talk about. We worry if someone actually talks to us, that we won't be able to speak in proper English because most of our days are spent using "todderish"-broken sentences, baby words and speaking in the 3rd person. Even though I have been living here for about a year, I am still finding it really hard to be settled, to findZVmuFeL vQq A|
ds with, and to find people, activities and group to join to keep K and I busy. This has left me with a lack of confidence, a touch of laziness and crippling fear to get out there, take charge and change it.

Today I took K to his swimming lesson like I do every Friday. But this time I actually made an effort to talk to all of the ladies in my group. After the lesson I invited them to stay and eat lunch with us. Most days, everyone rushes home after the lesson and K and I eat alone. I can't believe I have been swimming with these people once a week for 3 months and only NOW have we begun chatting. Today, 3 ladies and their babies stayed and ate lunch with K and I. We had such a great time that we stayed and chatted for 2.5 hours and made plans to make it a weekly event. And as it turns out, 1 of the women lives on my street, 2 houses down!!!!

I wonder if I wouldn't have asked if someone else would have, or if K and I would have eaten lunch alone again, wishing that someone would stay and chat rather than rushing home.  I'm so tired of going to the park, a walk, or even to a class with K and all the moms just keep to themselves, looking down, not talking to one another. Being a mother is the hardest job in the world. And we shouldn't be confined to our houses, alone, afraid to talk to one another.

Maybe it was the snuggles that gave me the confidence to do something and take charge about how I was feeling. To finally take a risk, terrified to my very core that I would be shot down. But it was so refreshing and a well needed afternoon. Now I have Fridays to look forward to. And I am happy to say that I've shed a lot of the fear I had about getting out there and meeting people again. Maybe now I will have to courage to chat to all those women I have seen at the park for the past year but never talked to.  I look forward to all the amazing people I am opening my life up to just by saying hello. I look forward to less days left at home feeling lonely and having a pity party, and hopefully more days like today.

So thank you K for those snuggles. And for the confidence to talk to people and ask if they want to join us. You may only be 1, but today you were my teacher and you have taught me an invaluable lesson.

We could all learn a lot from our children if we actually take the time to listen, can't we? What have your children taught you? 

3 comments:

  1. Jenn, this story brought tears to my eyes!! Kai is so lucky to have you ♥

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have felt the exact same way and it is really hard to make the transition to a stay at home mom, when you are used to working in an office! So it is nice to read a post from someone who has felt the same way. It is getting better, I am still not included in one group (and this is okay, they are not exactly nice people anyways), but I am meeting more Moms and feeling braver. I think parenting brings insecurities to the table like no other job in the world. Everyone has their own opinion and if you vary or have another way of doing things, then you are out sometimes. But, in time I would like to think it gets easier and sometimes way older Mom's make the biggest difference! I am trying to go out of my age group to make friends, especially at church and I am finding amazing ladies!

    ReplyDelete

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